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darthvp2
I'm having trouble understanding these jokes. Here's the article where I got the jokes from. Click, 24. Airports, that's the article:
http://www.wilanderson.com.au/wilanderson/articles.html
I'm having trouble understanding:
"Oh no, I'm a Doctor of Philosophy, but if a tree falls in a forest and no-one hears it, I'm your man!"
They are so bomb conscious; one passenger nearly got thrown in jail for reading a review of "You And Your Stupid Mate."
Okay, I'm willing to concede, any person who when asked "Do you have any baggage?" replies "Only emotional" is a tool so big they should be put on a shelf down at Bunning's, right next to the Mark Holdens.
But with some of the questions, you have to admit it's hard not to take the piss:
terrorist organization - unless you count the CWA.
"Have your bags been in your possession since you packed them?" Well, actually, no they haven't. My bags have been backpacking around Europe for the past couple of months.
What is a terrorist going to do, hijack the plane by threatening the pilot with a "Thorpey".
But wait, there's more. Now there's that new one where they vacuum you- who is in charge of airport security- Mr Sheen? Now that you have de-linted my suit coat, how about I take my pants off and you can press those for me too.
Here's my question. Every week I see these guys vacuuming men in business suits. Now I know they are looking for bomb-making residue, which is important, but how many terrorists make their bombs while wearing their business suits?
I think the question has to be asked, has all this extra security actually made us any safer or is it just window dressing?
(Or call the Bush twins.)
Answer
Ok well the first one. When they ask him if he is a doctor and he says yes, he means that he has a PhD. You still call people with a PhD a doctor, even thought they don't have an MD. They are a doctor of philosophy, so he can't help you with a medical emergency but if you have a philisophical question he can help. The ultimate philisophical question being "If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it still make a noise?"
Ok, the second one he was implying that "You and your stupid mate" was a bomb, as in terrible, it failed and when someone was simply reading the review they got thrown out of the airline just for reading it.
The third one he is complaining about people who try and interject sarcasm into the airport questioning process with a completely unorginal remark. EMotional baggage is problems or issues you may have emotionally. SO when people are asked if they have any baggage and reply "only emotional" he is saying that they are acting like an idiot (tool).
The third one he is implying that his mother is a member of either the communication workers of amaerica, or concerned women for america. Given his profession I would vote the first. And implying that the airline might consider this organization a terrorist organization.
I have to tell you this guy is hilarious, I am really enjoying this.
This next one you ask about is my favorite.
A common passtime for americans, and I would suppose some other cultures, is to back pack around EUrope, it is usually used as a trip to try and "find" oneself, or get to know yourself. He is implying that the airport person's question is ludacris and replying with an equally ludacris statement as bags cannot themselves backpack around europe. And why would anyone leave their bags anywhere unattended. So this comment he makes is just simply outlandish and silly.
I am not quite sure about the Thorpey comment but it has something to do with hijacking the plane with a hairdo. As far as I can tell Thorpey is some Australian star.
The vacuum comment has to do with how ridiculous it is to vacuum someone in the name of airport security. He is saying that as long as you are going to clean me up, why not press my pants too. Mr sheen is apparently some cleaning icon.
The business suits is a little hard to explain, it is pretty straight forward.... um... the airport security is checking men in business suits for bomb making residue but these men are cleaned and prepped and wearing business suits. If they were going to make a bomb they would have done it wearing something other than their suit, so it is somewhat pointless and silly to vacuum the men in suits.
The window dressing comment isn't a joke it is just a comment. He is asking if all this crap they do is actually worth it, or if it is just something that is done to look good, to make us feel better. Pointless but puts on a good show.
The last thing, about the Bush twins is a comment about the President of the USA's daughters who were apparently caught with fake ids.
Hope that helps, let me know if anythign I said didnt make sense or you need further clarification.
This guy is hilarious, thanks for showing him to me.
Ok well the first one. When they ask him if he is a doctor and he says yes, he means that he has a PhD. You still call people with a PhD a doctor, even thought they don't have an MD. They are a doctor of philosophy, so he can't help you with a medical emergency but if you have a philisophical question he can help. The ultimate philisophical question being "If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it still make a noise?"
Ok, the second one he was implying that "You and your stupid mate" was a bomb, as in terrible, it failed and when someone was simply reading the review they got thrown out of the airline just for reading it.
The third one he is complaining about people who try and interject sarcasm into the airport questioning process with a completely unorginal remark. EMotional baggage is problems or issues you may have emotionally. SO when people are asked if they have any baggage and reply "only emotional" he is saying that they are acting like an idiot (tool).
The third one he is implying that his mother is a member of either the communication workers of amaerica, or concerned women for america. Given his profession I would vote the first. And implying that the airline might consider this organization a terrorist organization.
I have to tell you this guy is hilarious, I am really enjoying this.
This next one you ask about is my favorite.
A common passtime for americans, and I would suppose some other cultures, is to back pack around EUrope, it is usually used as a trip to try and "find" oneself, or get to know yourself. He is implying that the airport person's question is ludacris and replying with an equally ludacris statement as bags cannot themselves backpack around europe. And why would anyone leave their bags anywhere unattended. So this comment he makes is just simply outlandish and silly.
I am not quite sure about the Thorpey comment but it has something to do with hijacking the plane with a hairdo. As far as I can tell Thorpey is some Australian star.
The vacuum comment has to do with how ridiculous it is to vacuum someone in the name of airport security. He is saying that as long as you are going to clean me up, why not press my pants too. Mr sheen is apparently some cleaning icon.
The business suits is a little hard to explain, it is pretty straight forward.... um... the airport security is checking men in business suits for bomb making residue but these men are cleaned and prepped and wearing business suits. If they were going to make a bomb they would have done it wearing something other than their suit, so it is somewhat pointless and silly to vacuum the men in suits.
The window dressing comment isn't a joke it is just a comment. He is asking if all this crap they do is actually worth it, or if it is just something that is done to look good, to make us feel better. Pointless but puts on a good show.
The last thing, about the Bush twins is a comment about the President of the USA's daughters who were apparently caught with fake ids.
Hope that helps, let me know if anythign I said didnt make sense or you need further clarification.
This guy is hilarious, thanks for showing him to me.
Are you ready for school to start again?
Q. I am, I am getting so bored with summer. I have 9 days of summer left and I have already had to start on a list of things to do to pass time, I have 3 so far(:
1. Brush up on guitar before school starts and I have guitar class again.
2. Get ahead in Spanish so I don't fall behind.
3. Decorate my binder.
BQ: What are some other fun/useless things I could add to it? All my friends start school in 2 days so they need to be things I can do alone:/
1. Brush up on guitar before school starts and I have guitar class again.
2. Get ahead in Spanish so I don't fall behind.
3. Decorate my binder.
BQ: What are some other fun/useless things I could add to it? All my friends start school in 2 days so they need to be things I can do alone:/
Answer
i start next week..im not ready for summer to be over, but im kinda excited for school too, but at the same time not..ha.
what i do before school is, and what you can do to pass the same...
1. Back-to-school shopping for clothes & supplies
2. Review summer school math journal and worksheets so i'm prepared for math (hard subject for me)
3. Reorganize, redecorate my bedroom..clean out my closet, clean my mirrors & windows, throw out old stuff, vacuum, clean my carpet, do laundry, organize my closet/dresser/bookshelf/desk, wash my blankets and comforter and pillow cases and sheets, etc.
4. Get school stuff together, buy backpack
5. Get used to going to bed early, waking up early
6. Catch up on TV shows or movies that i've wanted to see
7. Exercise, get toned before school
8. Last minute tanning, natural or lotion
9. Find outfits for first week of school
10. Dye hair or get highlights, hair cut, bang trim
11. Find new makeup routine, buy new makeup, watch youtube makeup tutorial videos for tips
12. Give yourself or get professional pedicures/manicures
13. Find new hairstyles for school
14. Catch up with old friends
15. Party as much as you can before summer is over!
16. Go to the beach, pool, lake, river, etc.
17. Do something to stand out, get another ear pericing like a double piericing, get a color streak in your hair with hair mascara, get super tan if youre usually pale, wear push-up bra, haha have fun
18. Bake cookies or cakes!
19. Ride your bike. thats always fun
20. Make the best of everything, summer is the best thing in the world
i start next week..im not ready for summer to be over, but im kinda excited for school too, but at the same time not..ha.
what i do before school is, and what you can do to pass the same...
1. Back-to-school shopping for clothes & supplies
2. Review summer school math journal and worksheets so i'm prepared for math (hard subject for me)
3. Reorganize, redecorate my bedroom..clean out my closet, clean my mirrors & windows, throw out old stuff, vacuum, clean my carpet, do laundry, organize my closet/dresser/bookshelf/desk, wash my blankets and comforter and pillow cases and sheets, etc.
4. Get school stuff together, buy backpack
5. Get used to going to bed early, waking up early
6. Catch up on TV shows or movies that i've wanted to see
7. Exercise, get toned before school
8. Last minute tanning, natural or lotion
9. Find outfits for first week of school
10. Dye hair or get highlights, hair cut, bang trim
11. Find new makeup routine, buy new makeup, watch youtube makeup tutorial videos for tips
12. Give yourself or get professional pedicures/manicures
13. Find new hairstyles for school
14. Catch up with old friends
15. Party as much as you can before summer is over!
16. Go to the beach, pool, lake, river, etc.
17. Do something to stand out, get another ear pericing like a double piericing, get a color streak in your hair with hair mascara, get super tan if youre usually pale, wear push-up bra, haha have fun
18. Bake cookies or cakes!
19. Ride your bike. thats always fun
20. Make the best of everything, summer is the best thing in the world
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Title Post: URGENT: Help Understanding These Jokes?
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Rating: 95% based on 981 ratings. 4,6 user reviews.
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Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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